100% annoying

I have a confession to make (and it's going to sound hypocritical and silly considering how lax I am about editing my blog): I am a total pedant about grammar and annoying modern distortions of English!

I know that I really shouldn't begin to judge people on this, and especially not through my blog - where I routinely, in fact more often than not, cant be assed to edit - and I justify it to myself by saying that understanding is not hindered by my small typing (or half-asleep-not-thinking) errors, and it is, after all, a blog - not a commercial publication, but I'm not sure even I buy it...

The truth is that its probably the most annoying thing that I do - I correct people. I don't always do it aloud, and I'm really trying to stop, but, sh*t, it's hard! Bad grammar upsets me! It plays on my nerves and, like tourettes, if I hold it back too long, its bound to come rushing out much worse and with more expletives than strictly necessary.

I have no room to talk - but stuff it! I'm going to be hypocritical and just say:

It's "eTcetera" not "eKcetera", and "eSpresso" not "eXpresso"
It is "Jono & Kate's flat" not "jono's & kate's" - its called compound possession!
"it's" = it is, "its" = belongs to it(possession)
"P.S". = post script, as in after, so an afterthought to the post script is "P.P.S" not "P.S.S"
I could go on... but I wont or everyone everywhere will truly despise me!

We all have pet peeves, and this is mine - but I'm not alone. Read some of these below, and be honest, it does upset you. Doesn't it? Not even a little? Dammit!

Abuse of quotation marks on billboards and in publications:
e.g. Fish & chips "with" a salad - well, is it or is it not with a salad? do you mean it sarcastically or ironically or are you reporting speech? No? Then DON'T DO IT!

And here's one that drives Jono mad - "thousands of consumers cant be wrong" - Yes, they can! of course, they can! The whole world can agree on something that is entirely wrong!

Tash's favourite was (I haven't discussed this with her very recently) people who couldn't properly place the period/full stop in a quote (inside or outside quotations).

And* today I saw an advert for an Elvis impersonator with the bold claim "100% Elvis" - bollocks to that, unless you dug him up, it's not 100% Elvis!

Apparently the Queen wants you to say "what" instead of "pardon" and "loo" instead of "toilet" - which to a regular pleb like me sounds much less posh, but isn't the true sign of being posh the ability to wander around in dirty wellies smelling of dog and horse and not care? or something like that? I'm sure it's true - i read it in the tabloids, and thousands of tabloids cant be wrong!


*totally acceptable these days to begin with "And". Promise.