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Monday, May 15, 2006

me vs goliath (aka british bureaucracy)

Tomorrow I have my appointment at the Oxford Job Centre in order to get a National Insurance (NI) number, so I can get off the outrageous emergency tax system, get put on the new pay roll system at work, and hopefully be able to claim back loads of tax when I leave this country (well a girl can dream -right?).

This NI number registration thing is pretty standard for working visa holders, but, for some reason, has me all stressed out. It's the same rising panic that I feel when I go through customs at Heathrow. I know that I've done everything "by the book", that I'm not dodgy (no silly bugger comments here please), but I'm convinced I'm going to get a fat "fuck off" every time I do this kind of thing.

I guess it's just the knowledge that these people have serious power over me, and for any reason (or no reason at all) can tell me to bugger off back where I came from.

The first time I went through customs at Heathrow I was on my way to Dublin with the debaters, and (typically for me) encountered the most soulless (sp?) pencil pusher/paper stamper in the universe. He asked me if I knew the conditions of my visa - causing me to go immediately and completely blank - and I stammered out something about the fact that I could only work for twelve months of the two year visa (correct) and that i wasnt allowed to work in my field in order to advance my career (incorrect - I knew this was an old regulation that had since been amended, but needed to say something, dammit). When I couldnt remember the last condition, he informed all 5ft2-havent-been-to-gym-in-like-forever of me that I couldnt play professional sports while in the country. My response? "Well, damn, there goes my pro-rugby career!" [cue whistling sound effect of great weight crashing to earth]. This was not well received. I'm not even sure he knew I was joking.

Moral of this garbled post: dont fuck with the red tape! Stand in line in an orderly fashion, and step away from the sarcasm!

hold thumbs for me tomorrow.

1 comment:

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